What do I want for Christmas?

For all the people who asked what I'd like for Christmas this year:     

          

I'd like my Country back!

I'm sick of watching president Obama (yes I used a little "P" purposely for President). If he wants my respect, he'll have to earn it.  But he's too busy making the USA look like a bunch of wimps. When Paris was attacked, he could have strapped on a set and helped send a message. But he didn't.

He calls it Foreign Policy- I call it posing. 

Why go to all those countries and schmooze? Why go to expensive dinners and balls so that Michelle can put on another gown and talk about hunger ? It's preposterous. 

Why have all those meetings of "diplomatic importance"? 

Pick up the damn phone, say what you need to say, cut out the caterers, the ballroom dancing, the tuxes and the parties. As far as I’m concerned, we don’t need to be over there trying to tell them what they’re doing right or wrong anyway. Let them figure it out. It’s certainly not as if we’ve got our national debt, homelessness and war issues all resolved.

But according to Obama, Isis is under control. So is ISIL. Pick a letter... any letter Vanna... call it what you want- it's a Radical Muslim group who hates us and no matter what you call it, they are not under control!

Trim our welfare- Keep it simple. If you want to receive money for food and  paid health insurance, then you should get a job. If you are able to work, then you should. If you are able to father a few kids, you probably are healthy enough to do other things. If you are a woman able to endure the pain of labor, you are probably able to labor in other ways as well. 

Why should my taxes pay for your babies? Why should I have to work so they send you a monthly check when you sit on your butt, eating welfare cheese, milk, eggs and beef doing drugs and living in free housing while I can’t afford to buy a bottle of boxed wine to celebrate my kids graduation from high school? But I have to skimp because I need the money to pay for college tuition. I skimp so I won't be late on my mortgage payments. 

But you get a free smart phone, free housing, free insurance, and even a nice little credit card to buy your groceries with that replaces those old welfare food stamps....because we wouldn't want to stigmatize you in line at the grocery store. This way no one can tell it's a welfare card because it looks exactly like the high-interest card I have to pay for to get me by from month to month so I can make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while you eat steak!

Sorry if I sound a little pissed, but maybe we all need to finally voice our concerns.

Many of us work in jobs that require us to take drug tests to keep our jobs. My brother is in the service. Service members take random drug tests to make sure our military aren’t under the influence.

 If they don’t pass, guess, what? They lose their job and all the nice government benefits that go with it. It’s not an infringement of his rights. It’s a job requirement. If you don’t like the rules, don’t play the game.

I feel the same way for welfare recipients. You should have to pass a drug test if you want to continue receiving benefits. Hell, ramp it up a bit and throw in a pregnancy test too for all those unwed moms looking for more in their checks each month because they’ve got another mouth to feed. The rules would be simple. Pee in a cup, you’re clean, pick up a check. You’re  not- oh well- try again next month!

So sorry, but I don’t feel like paying for your drug habit or your promiscuity.

 Others have had this idea too; I can’t take credit, but the government hasn't passed it because they say it’s too expensive to test, or too much of  a hardship for people to go to the place to test. 

Some say it’s not constitutional. 

To all those people I say "Bull Shit!"

 It wouldn’t be too expensive because think of all the people we’d weed out who are currently getting paid to do nothing every month. 

If it’s too hard for someone to go to an office once a month to pick up a check, ask yourself why? 

Do you get out of bed every work day and find a way to get to your place of employment to get a check? 

Is it really too much to ask someone to make it there one time in 30 days drug-free to get free money? If so, then I rest my case- They don’t deserve it! And that’s just how I feel about welfare checks.  Let me now get on to housing.

 When half of this country is in foreclosure or one month’s mortgage away from it, how can we keep allowing people who don’t even work to live for free on our tax dollars?

 Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting we should kick them to the curb. Homelessness is enough of a problem in this country- but there should be guidelines as to who gets to live in “free housing” and who doesn’t.

Ask yourself this- when people have worked 20 plus years and paid taxes for all that time, and suddenly find themselves out of a job because the economy is in such a mess that cutbacks have been made, shouldn't  they get a break? 

When Mr. Employee of the year is let go to save overhead, should he be the one thrown out of his home because he doesn’t now have regular income to make a house payment on the home he’s owned for 20 years and has made regular payments on and who planned on owning it free and clear in the next 10?

Or should the crack-head down the street with 3 unmarried girlfriends and their babies living with him and his drug buddies be the one without a roof over his head? But they won't be kicked out. No, it will be Mr. Responsible Taxpayer who has his home foreclosed on and sold out from under him.

 If you want to fix homelessness issues, stop providing homes to the ones who don't deserve it and let the ones who do keep theirs.

Now I realize that not every person living in free housing or “subsidized housing as it is called” have drug habits or tons of illegitimate children. Some may just be down on their luck and struggling to get back into the workplace- and for those of you- Congratulations. I commend you on looking for employment and trying to get out.

But for the majority who are simply sponging off the system, I think there should be guidelines met to continue to live in free housing.

Oh sure, I realize there are “guidelines" now, a checklist that you check off if you don't make very much income. Which just makes you want to hide what you do make because if you go over that amount, you can’t live in free homes. But really, does that system make sense?

Think about it. 

Right now, our system is  set up so that if you don’t show enough income, guess what- you qualify to live in our country in a free home with free food. And if you have kids, even if you yourself are an illegal, we’ll take care of them too…but only so long as you don’t work too hard or make too much money- cause if you prove you’re a hard working contributing member of society- then I’m sorry, but we’ll have to cut you off and figure that you can now sufficiently care for your own.

 Huh? Does that make sense?

Of course not, but yet that’s what we’re doing in America.

No wonder everybody wants to come here to the land of the free. They get everything for free! And Obama keeps opening the doors wider and wider.

Our country is not supposed to be a socialist country....at least it wasn't founded that way.  

We are supposed to work for what we earn. 

I don't work so that the guy down the street can be lazy and collect welfare and live in free housing, I work because I have to survive. He's in better health than me. 

Why should he get food and a home when our proud Veterans who lost life and limb protecting our rights have no homes or benefits because our government keeps saying we can't afford it?

 Why should my parents and grandparents worry about social security benefits when they paid out of their paychecks week after week to be able to collect when they could no longer work? 

Why do our congressman, senate reps and ex Presidents get paid after their short term in office, but they  say our budget can't afford to pay the people who worked all their lives putting their hard-earned dollars into the same system paying their retirement? 

They say our government can't afford to pay for all these people who now need social security, yet they aren't cutting their government annual salary or benefits. 

But though they claim our US Govt. is out of money, they pave the way to allow more and more immigrants to come into our country.

Invite them if they come to work. Invite them if they like Americans.

But for God's sake, don't go out of your way to roll out the red carpet if they want to burn our flags, kill our people and chastise my cross.

 And don't act like we don't know who they are. They tell us quite clearly.

 Obama may not care, but I do. If they don't like what the USA stands for (or at least what it used to represent), then stay the hell out.

But if you still insist on letting some of them in, then do so with explicit screening. 

Make them take the Citizenship test and pass it to stay here.

 If they have a Work Visa, make sure you follow them while they are in this country, so they leave when the Visa expires, if they don't become citizens.

If they become a citizen and actually contribute through taxes, effort and patriotism to our government and nation, I will proudly and lovingly welcome them to my country.

But don't expect me to welcome them if they don't plan on working.

I can't afford to send my kids to college, yet our Country pays for their kids to go to college along with housing, food, and medical expenses while mine get nothing.  They get scholarships while I get student loan debt.

And mine were born here!

I work. I pay taxes. I contribute. But I'm sick of doing it all for the common good of people who quite commonly just come over here and get everything for free!

Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

If you want to have a roof over your head- help build it. You want the community to pay for your comfort- great-I’m all for it- join the community and pick up a hammer and help fix up the projects you call home. 

If you want  a home, you should have to do what every other homeowner and renter does- make payments, make repairs and take care of your property.

 If you can’t do it with monetary payments- you can do it with your time and effort. If you are able to sit and watch TV, you should be able to volunteer and help teach kids to read or do homework or pass on some other life skill that doesn't include making pipe bombs. 

If you can't read or write- well take a class.

But please- learn English.

It's America. We speak English. We write English. 

We do not travel to other countries and expect them to speak English in Spain, Italy or Germany. We expect them to speak their native language of Spanish, Italian or German. 

Comprende?...Kapeesh? ...Verstehen?  Understand?

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.

I wish we'd take our country back, put God first again, and impeach Obama.

That my friends is what I want for Christmas this year.

My favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11. -"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I pray that those plans are for our country as well because it looks pretty bleak right now and I hope for a future for us all!

Feel free to share if you think that would be the best Christmas gift ever!

Sincerely,

Tammy Fitzherbert

Seriously- You Want it Now?

This day started out awful. An epic Bad Mommy day!

 I was up all night comforting our colicky baby who finally fell asleep around 3am. After catching a mere 3 hours of sleep, I woke up to find our 5 year old had a fever and upset stomach. I put her back to bed saying no "Kindergarten today", but not before rushing her to the toilet where she "almost" made it.

By "almost" I mean, she got to the bathroom, but projectile vomited on the side of my head before we turned her mouth toward the bowl. I don't know about you, but 9 times out of 10, if they get sick and I catch a whiff of it, I get sick too. This was no exception. Especially since it was now clinging to my left ear and face.

 And did I mention we ate chili with beans for dinner?  Yeah, I can't make this stuff up people. It was bad.

 After cleaning up the bathroom, I headed upstairs to jump in the shower and rinse off the God-awful stink emanating from my hair and clothes. I also wanted to brush my teeth.

I hadn't made it two steps before I met eyes with my husband coming out of the bedroom. He saw me tossing my clothes in the laundry basket standing there "au natural."

And I kid you not- he thought to himself- "looks like as good a time as any."

Now here I am, buck-naked, haven't yet showered, haven't shaved in three days, haven't brushed my teeth yet, have throw up in my hair and bags under my eyes...and did I mention I have throw up in my hair?

What is it about Men when it comes to morning sex? Did he even look at me? Do I simply function as a vending machine with an "Insert Here" sign that only he can see that must hang invisibly below my waistline.

As he walked over to me, I gave him the "look."

 You know the one, the one that screams, "Are you kidding me- You want sex now?"

 We've all cast that glare. It clearly says, "Not in a milliion friggin years am I even the slightest bit turned on right now."

 And you know what? He didn't even notice.

He strolls on over like he's Brad Pitt or something, waving his pride and joy (well, not really waving it- but  bouncing it a bit) and gives me an eyebrow raise that implies, " I got this."

I can't make this stuff up.

I swear he must have heard Marvin Gaye in his mind because he was humming "Let's  get it on" as he swaggered over to me.

When he got close enough to actually kiss me, I turned my head (the side with throw-up still caked in my hair) to the left so he could see it. 

He did not.

But he did smell it.

And do you know what he said to me?

"Whoa babe... I love you, but I got to tell you, after we make love, you really might want to think about a shower." He then clicked his tongue, like he was doing me a favor and said, " But don't worry... you still do it for me."

That was his way of complimenting me... I think. 

Did I seriously marry someone that gross? Did I reproduce with someone who can't see the puke stuck to the side of my ear?

I flicked a bean at him as I looked at him disgustedly.

"Really? You want it now? Do you not see this? Pey was sick, I'm wearing it. That's what you smell."

He wrinkled his nose a bit and said- "Oh I thought it was an earring."

"AGGHHHHH, How could you even think I'd lay down on clean sheets like this? Gross! Seriously- I can't believe you! Get out of my way and go to work!" I screamed.

He finally had the decency to look sheepish and "Mr.Happy" stopped bouncing around.

I jumped in the shower and he left for work.

It is now 4pm and I've received 3 apology texts from him and he called his mom to come over tonight to watch the kids so he can take me out to dinner.

I guess it's not all bad.

 I even ordered myself a new pair of yellow panties. They sell them online and it has a cute little arrow that points downward and reads, "INSERT HERE." Now there's your sign.

If I'm wearing those, then clearly I'm in the mood. Otherwise- please check for other signs that you better back off!

Finding the Best Handyman is Essential

Okay ladies, I am going to vent a bit. I have a wonderful husband. He is by far, the best pick of the litter and I scored big time when I won him. He's a super loving Father and great provider.  BUT....

He can't hang a flipping picture to save his life.

Now, let me preface this with a bit of background. I'm a southern girl- and like most true southern chicks, we grow up learning a few essentials. Like how to drive a stick, how to bait a hook and how to watch a football game. We may not all know how to change a tire; but we know how find a man who does. My man knows how too- but it involved a ride to the local Tire Store if you get my drift.

When a gal wants a curtain rod hung or a mirror placed on the wall, it shouldn't take an act of God to do it. Mine pulls out the level, the drill, the wall anchor, the stud-finder, the friggin screw and then ....yeah- he hangs it too high.  (I'm five foot tall and he hung the mirror so high that I can't even see the top of my scalp in it- and the poor kids don't have a chance.) I told him he'd need to lower it and he said, fine, but that it was hung high to cover the 3 holes he'd initially tried to hang it from.

Obviously I've got plenty of spack in this house because I've constantly heard the story line, "the stupid anchor broke." It's never operator error! No of course not- it's always dysfunctional equipment we're working with.

 (Look at the first picture and you'll see how high he hung the mirror- BTW- I  made that with some rope from Home Depot, wine-corks, and driftwood I'd picked up with shells on the beach.) This is the after picture. The next one shows the ugly tile and space before I worked on it.

Takes me back to the time he had to put together a Barbie Dreamhouse. The instructions were wrong, the parts were missing, the pieces didn't fit...blah blah blah. He left for an hour because he was so frustrated so I put it together. Nothing was broke or missing, but his spatial capacity to figure it out. I guess if I wanted an engineer I should have married one- but no, alas, I chose a GOLFER.

I've begun to wonder if there are other Golfer-widows out there with the same problem. Maybe it's a golf dysfunction disorder. We could label it GDD, and if they have it- they can not be handy-man material. They could come with a warning so we know what we're getting before we buy the package.

When I met my husband, he came with two things in his possession - a recliner and golf bag.

I had tools. Lots of them. I love my circular saw, my drill, my screwdrivers and sanders. I have a wicked sick relationship with my reciprocating saw as demo work is therapeutic to me. My husband doesn't understand my need to fix things up and make them into other things. I love finding trash and turning it into usable things. I've even written a book on it teaching others how to do it.

 He doesn't understand why when he leaves in the morning from a bathroom that was ugly but functioning, he returns home to find the bath/shower taken down to the studs and I'm covered in dirty installation. (See pictures for proof.) Just an FYI- it takes only about 30 minutes for one small woman and a power tool to remove an enclosed glass shower.

I had to twist his arm to buy a "fixer-Upper" under the pretense that I would do all the work and pay someone else for what I couldn't do myself.  So far, I ( he'll say we) have painted every room in the 2600 sq.ft house. I've also painted some of the outside. I took out and replaced the front door with a hurricane impact door. I've hung interior shutter doors that I fabricated to frame in a dining room wall for privacy. I've taken down every light fixture and ceiling fan in this 80's style house and replaced with new fans and lights. I've patched holes, sanded walls and even put in a new sink vanity in the laundry bath. I laid laminate floor in my office, removed every bit of carpet in this house, and begun sanding and painting the staircase. I've stripped wallpaper, removed tile from the walls and then put up new wallpaper that looks like rustic wood paneling. I've installed beadboard and chair-rails as well as baseboards. I've removed the dock lift beams with the help of my brother and a friend and those have now been built by a welder.  I do not weld!We must admit our limitations!

Now I'm on the master bath. I (with the help of a friend) took down a huge 9 foot mirror and got it down the stairs and to the trash. I removed the enclosed ugly silver-chromed glass shower enclosure, and the tile  from the wall. I took it to the studs. He was not amused!

But I knew that wall had mold behind it and I had to remove the installation and drywall because they had not used the right kind.

Here's a funny true story- I went and bought the drywall  with the gypsum coating b/c that's the kind you need for high-moisture areas to prevent mold. So it is up in my bath, leaning against the wall till I can hang it and my husband says-"Oh so that's the color you've decided on...we're going with green?"

I kid you not- the only greens he recognizes are those with a little white ball on it. But I love him.

So that brings me to the topic- at some point, you really do need a handyman. I was finding it difficult to maneuver the drywall by myself. Trying to handle it and cut and measure it, I ended up breaking it. So I broke down and called a local guy who offered handyman services.

It's been life-changing my friends.  In 40 minutes, it was hung. (The drywall that is.) After he left, I taped the seams with drywall tape and  mudded it and now its dry and ready for sanding. I may even try my luck with some fancy tile.  And I'm not scared....well maybe a little.

So now I know I can call this guy for the projects that I don't want to ask my husband to do. Next up will be hanging barn doors with the hardware.

 I think I've found the answer to a peaceful marriage.

Hmmm...I wonder if my handyman can put together Barbie townhouses.Christmas Eves around my house are always a nightmare.

 I paid a guy one Christmas to put together a 15 foot trampoline. No kidding, I was scared if my husband did it, the kids would jump up but not come down. It was the best money I ever spent.

 I'll post more pictures as my projects get completed. In the meantime, remember- every man is not handy- but if you're handy- you can find a man. Ha Ha. I just made that up. I'm killing it today!. Gotta get back to the tile.

-Tammy

Till next time.